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Five Love Languages || Acts of Service


In the past few posts in our series about the 5 Love Languages, I’ve been talking about the love languages that either I speak or that my husband speaks. This post will be unique in that neither of us speak Acts of Service as our primary love language. Rather my husband and I speak Words of Affirmation, Receiving Gifts, and Quality Time.

But, just because Acts of Service is not the primary love language that I speak, it is still something that influences my relationship with my husband.

Those who speak the Acts of Service love language feel loved when people do things for them. To these people, actions literally speak louder than words. While I do not need people to do things for me to feel loved, I often speak the language Acts of Service as a way of expressing my love for my husband.

Like I said, I cannot speak to what I like people to do for me as acts of service, but I can talk a lot about what I like to do for others as a way of showing my love. Here are some of my favorites!

Make their lunch for work.

What better way to show your love than by preparing them a meal. There is a saying that goes “the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach”… let’s be honest, that applies to everyone, women included. Preparing lunch for your loved one shows them that you are willing to sacrifice your time by preparing it, and that you are wanting to make their life better by preparing their favorite lunch.

Pamper your loved one and treat them like the special person that they are.

Make their favorite dinner, light some candles, buy their favorite wine, and treat them to a special night at home. Or maybe give them a back massage while they watch their favorite show. Trust me, everyone loves to be pampered every now and again.

Keep the home tidy.

I love making my house a sanctuary for my husband! He is extremely busy, and is always doing things for our family, that it is the least I can do to do chores like vacuuming and the laundry. These are simple acts of service that give him a comfortable home to come to every night. I do this as a way of reminding my husband that I care about his comfort and happiness and that I am willing to do this little things for him to show him that I care.

Do a chore that is normally reserved for your loved one.

Does your man hate taking out the trash? But tonight he in a bad mood or stressed out with work? Maybe now is the perfect time for you to take out the trash for him. Doing a chore that is normally reserved for your loved one will show them how much you appreciate them.

Help with the chores around the house.

You and your loved one are partners in everything, including housework. One way to show your loved one how much you appreciate them is to help out a little more than usual with the housework. Let them sleep in one Saturday while you mow the lawn. Don’t expect them to always do everything all the time. Your Acts of Service loved one will feel even more loved and appreciated if you are willing show your love for them via actions.

Fill up the car with gas.

You’re out running errands and you notice that the gas tank is starting to look a little low. Rather than leave the task for your honey while they’re on their long trek to work, stop by the gas station and fill it up for them. It’s a simply task that will make their day a little better, and let them know that you care enough to help them out.

Act as a servant.

My husband does so much for me, and it is only fair that I do things for him in return! Hopefully this doesn’t upset too many people, but yes, I do think that one way I am meant to show love for my husband is by acting as a servant for him. I am not, by any stretch of the imagination, saying that I let him walk all over me. I am saying that doing things for him, such as cooking his dinner and cleaning his home, is a way of demonstrating my love. The key, of course, is doing these things without complaint; I am not doing these things because I feel I have to, but because I want to!

When Your Loved One Is Feeling Down…

Sometimes, your loved one might be feeling a bit overwhelmed, which is a perfect opportunity for you to show your love for them through acts of service. When your loved one is feeling a little down, they may not specifically tell you what you can do for them to make them feel better. But that doesn’t mean that they don’t need you. I interviewed a friend of mine who speaks this love language, and asking her what she would make her feel better when she feels a little down. Her response was:

I love when you do things for me, especially when I don’t have to ask you.

I can be really busy, sometimes I would really appreciate your help.

If you know that I’m stressed out, it would be great to be able to count on you to help lighten my load.

Acts of Service in Military Life

Acts of Service can be difficult to fulfill when you are not physically with your loved one. But, if you are fortunate enough to be with your military loved one, acts of service is a wonderful way to demonstrate your love and affirm to your loved one how much you appreciate them.

Take advantage of the valuable time that you have with your loved one to show them through actions how much you care. Your military loved one’s time is valuable, and so too is your time with them. When I am able to spend time with Connor, I love pampering him and serving him. Connor, as with everyone in the military, often has a lot on his mind. I feel that it is my job to demonstrate my love for him by making his life a little easier. By doing acts of service for my husband, such as helping with the chores, affirms that I respect and appreciate everything that he is doing.

In the final post in our series, I will be talking about the love language Physical Touch. Stay tuned!

Haven’t taken the Five Love Languages test yet? Take it here: Speaking the Five Love Languages

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